The Monkey And The Magpie

To her friend, the crafty Monkey,
Said a Magpie,--"If you'll go
With me unto my dwelling,
I've some pretty things to show.
For, sure you know, I've skill
A thousand things to steal.
You shall see them, if you will,
Where I my hoard conceal
In my chest." Replied her friend:
"I'll wait on you with pleasure."
So their course forthwith they bend
To see the Magpie's treasure.

And there, my lady Magpie
Proceeded to produce,
First, an old colored garter,
Then a hoop that ladies use,--
Two petty coins, a buckle,
Of a knife a shabby handle,
A blade of broken scissors,
And a little bit of candle,
The battered tip of scabbard
Worn out in ancient war,
A scrap of gauze and half a comb,
Three pegs of a guitar,--
With an endless lot of knick-knacks,
That good for nothing were.

"What think you now, friend Monkey?
Don't you envy me my pelf?
Upon my word, no other bird
Is so wealthy as myself."
A shrewd grimace the Monkey made,
And to Magpie answered she:
"This is all an idle story,
And your wealth mere trumpery.
In your faithful chest you bury
Every petty, straggling waif;
Not that they all are worth a groat,
But because it keeps them safe.
Look at my jaws, dear gossip;
You see, beneath them here,
I have two nice snug magazines,
Or chops, if you prefer.

These I contract at pleasure,
Or expand them, when I please.
What I like, I eat at leisure,--
And the residue in these
I stow, there safely to remain
Till I shall hungry be again.
Old rags and wretched rubbish
You, foolish bird, lay by;
Sweet nuts and tender filberts,
And racy sweetmeats--I,--
Meat, and whatever else is good,
In time of need, to serve as food."

* * * * *

Shall the Monkey's lecture shrewd
To the Magpie only go?
The advice, I think, is good
For those who make a show
Of a medley incoherent,
Where no meaning is apparent.