Mr Spider Wins A Wife

This tale has been adapted from the original for readability:

A woman had a daughter, and the girl had been promised four times over, but no man had managed to marry her, because her mother refused every match. Then Spider came along and said he would marry the girl. The mother looked him up and down and said, “You can have her, but first you must do three things. Bring me lion’s teeth, fresh with blood on them. Bring me palm-wine from the sass-wood tree. And bring me a live boa constrictor.”

Spider nodded as if she’d asked for a cup of water. He went into a great forest where all the animals passed, and he built a little fire by the roadside. He made sure the smoke drifted nicely across the path, and he set a clean seat near the warmth, as though he were running a shelter for travellers caught in the rainy season. Then he called out that anyone could come and warm themselves, but they must come one at a time. All the while he kept a heavy hammer hidden close by.

Animals began to arrive, one after another, and Spider greeted each politely, letting them warm themselves, never lifting a hand against any of them. In time the talk among the animals grew, and they said Spider was a good fellow, always keeping a fire going for his neighbours. At last word reached Lion, and one day Lion himself came down the path.

Spider piled on fresh, green leaves until the smoke rose thick and soft, rolling straight into Lion’s face. “Friend,” Spider said, all sympathy, “this cold has caught you, sit here and warm yourself.” He wiped the seat clean and urged Lion to settle down by the fire. Lion sat, blinking into the smoke, shutting his eyes, opening his mouth to breathe, showing his teeth as he basked in the warmth. And Spider, watching for his moment, lifted the hammer without a sound and brought it down once, and only once, on Lion’s mouth.

Lion let out a roar that shook the ground. He spat his teeth onto the earth and bolted, fleeing into the forest without looking back. Spider ran too at first, expecting Lion to turn and seize him, but when he saw Lion wasn’t coming, he crept back, gathered up the bloodied teeth, and carried them straight to the girl’s mother.

“Here,” he said, “lion’s teeth, fresh, with blood still on them.”

The mother inspected them, then sniffed and said, “Fine. Now bring me palm-wine from the sass-wood.”

Spider went away again, sharpened his axe, and found a sass-wood tree. He climbed it and cut a hollow into the trunk, then climbed down and fetched a big clay pot and a strong rope. He hung the pot beneath the cut, as though he expected the wine to drip out overnight. Then he spent the night doing something else entirely. He went from house to house and quietly stole palm-wine wherever he could find it, pouring it into the pot until it brimmed. He rubbed palm-wine around the hole in the tree and over the bark as well, so the whole thing smelled as if it truly flowed from sass-wood.

At dawn he brought a man along as a witness. Together they went to the tree and found the pot full. Spider had the man help him take it down, and they carried it to the mother.

“Mammy,” Spider said, setting it down, “look at your sass-wood palm-wine.”

The mother asked the man, “Is it true?”

He answered, “I saw it with my own eyes.”

She clicked her tongue, unwilling to give up yet. “One thing remains,” she said. “Bring me a live boa.”

Spider trudged to the muddy places by the water until he met Boa. He greeted him as if they were old friends. Then he held up a long stick and said, “People have been arguing with me. I told them you’re longer than this stick, but they laughed and said it isn’t so. Lie down beside it and prove them wrong.”

Boa, pleased by the idea, stretched himself out along the stick. Spider began to tie a rope around him, light at first, talking as if it were all part of the game. “No trouble,” Spider said, cheerful as anything. “I’m only tying you so you’ll lie straight and we can measure properly.” Boa agreed and stayed still. Spider worked his way along, tying him here and there, then went back to Boa’s head, pulled the rope tight, and suddenly Boa could not gather himself to move. Before he properly understood, Spider had him bound.

“There,” Spider said. “Now no one can deny it. I’ll take you to all those people who laughed at me.”

And with that he hauled Boa along and delivered him, alive and furious, to the mother. When she saw the lion’s teeth, the “sass-wood” palm-wine, and the live boa, she called people in to witness it. They talked it over, and all agreed Spider had met every condition. So the mother gave her daughter to Spider, and that was how Spider married the girl.